Okay, I am finally in a position where I'm calm enough (mostly) to write about my less than fantastic week.
I drove to campus Tuesday to track down my academic liaison and ask her what the deal was. I found her, and she started in on ME for not keeping in touch. When I told her I'd sent her something like 6 emails and she had never gotten back to me, she told me she hadn't received any of them.
Awesome.
Even better, it turns out that she actually sent me a response last Friday, and the response from the department was NOPE.
I still have yet to see that email with the whole explanation, btw.
Except it wasn't NOPE, what it actually was, better worded, is this; that mimetics are a questionable field to begin with and that they had allowed me to pursue this subset of the field because it initially looked as though I might actually be able to eek some sort of clinical data out of the memes I was going over broadly. As an overview of a LOT of society, it was great and they liked it. They were hesitant, but gave me a go.
When I decided to focus on the rise and fall of Slenderman, though, they thought it was too narrow a subset to draw from and withdrew all support, including grants.
When my liaison told me that, I made the argument that it had segued in to a larger population now because of that whole video game thing. She nodded and told me she'd read that and argued that on my behalf, and that is why I am now on academic probation and not kicked out of the program.
Subsequently, I discovered my name was not on the student list for the department anymore when I went to look something up later. They're effectively wiping me off the map.
So on one hand, I have mounds of data and I've been spending late nights cobbling together a theory for all of this and it is NOT going to waste. They will hear out my paper because metadata can be pulled from it on trends in data transmission via all the various social media sources and a few other things that don't necessarily strictly pertain to mimetics. But in the meantime, I'm going to be doing so without any funding at all from grants, which was part of how I was going to focus on this to get it knocked out by spring. I've got nothing for housing, food or gas at this point.
Thank god Mr. Talbrie asked me to extend my stay here. I can't even afford student housing on campus at this point and I'm going to have to bow out and try to find some small apartment to share somewhere. I've done it before, but I'm worried about loud roommates and distractions.
Not too surprisingly, in light of all of this, I had my first Slenderman nightmare last night. Honestly it's shocking I didn't have one before but I guess it took the stress to really push things over the edge. I wasn't in the woods, oddly. I was in someplace dark and echo-y. I knew he was there and he was close by. I kept running, but the dark didn't end. I never came to any walls or doorways. And he was always right there behind me, about to touch me.
In light of that I took a 2 day break and decided to unwind. I sat around in my PJs, dyed my hair bright pink (didn't turn out so well but I'm here by myself so there's no one to witness my failure)
and dug out some old videogames down in the basement to play for a bit.
Who still plays PS2 games on the original brick, btw? That's what was down there. Maybe they're nostalgia fans or something
At this point I'm determined to just go ahead and do the paper, and make the data fucking waterTIGHT so they have no excuse but to acknowledge I was taking this shit seriously.
And now I'm getting worked up again. So I should probably go do other things.
Like start looking for a paid internship or a job, since I'm going to need it.
.
.
.
fuck
Friday, August 31, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
Symptoms You're Being Stalked/HE is nearby
This is where things get interesting, because originally there was no decided means of showing that he was nearby. All original stories and clippings and photos just show that he was there, and the stories accompanying it mention very little in terms of evidence. So in this case this is truly something that was created by the people, a democratic unleashing of the overmind to put too grandiose a spin on things.
It is also fascinating to note that since the Something Awful forum posts, Slenderman went from simply being something that appeared to children and then disappeared with them to something that caused noticable symptoms, "haunted" adults, interference with electrical devices and photographs, and of course the seemingly beloved proxies.
In a moment of sarcastic wit I thought, "of course, that's just because children don't have video cameras so they're not represented properly" but really they are anecdotally and via pictures drawn or things written by them. Just different forms of media.
But here so far are the primary symptoms based on the written blogs and video blogs seen.
~loss of sleep
~nightmares
~bloody noses or coughing/vomitting blood (the vomitting sets in apparently as more exposure occurs)
~lost time/time jumps
~As an addition to lost time, also forgetting things that happened to you
~paranoia
~getting "the journals", where you begin to draw pictures or write down words. This devolves in to babble as exposure progresses.
~seeking solitude, although that's not really a symptom so much as a desire not to pass the infection to loved ones.
~filming yourself constantly to keep track of what is going on
Now, because I've been at this a while and that tends to breed sarcasm as a form of keeping it interesting for myself, I came up with a secondary list of stuff mostly based on the video blogs.
~the wearing of Chuckies or converse sneakers
~the presence of The House of Leaves somewhere in the series
~the presence of people from other series in your series -aka "the crossover"
~shaky cam
~being photobombed by Slenderman
~having a wooden artist's model in the background somewhere
~posting cryptic messages to twitter
~being forum jacked/twitter jacked/youtube jacked
~a push to return to normal followed by Everything Getting So Much Worse
~Slendy up close in your house (this is bad)
~being harassed by proxies and aides who use l33t5p34k to talk
~following on that, puzzles and codes replacing what might otherwise be straightforward discourse.
~decline of photographic skills
~Overuse of the f-bomb and swearing in general to describe a situation/loss of ability to form sentences (looking at you, Tribe Twelve)
~the overwhelming urge to walk in to a forest by yourself near sunset when you KNOW THAT THING IS OUT THERE.
~Somebody named Alex or Jessica/Jess/Jessie. (Ahem... *whistles innocently*) There is always an Alex.
I have only actually seen Slenderman touch an individual in one vlog, and that was MLAnderson0. So perhaps I should do a secondary list of behaviors that the group has decided on forhim, because seeing that actually surprised me. Surprise at an action usually means I am on to something.
I have amused myself enough. Time to go gather some more seriously boring data.
It is also fascinating to note that since the Something Awful forum posts, Slenderman went from simply being something that appeared to children and then disappeared with them to something that caused noticable symptoms, "haunted" adults, interference with electrical devices and photographs, and of course the seemingly beloved proxies.
In a moment of sarcastic wit I thought, "of course, that's just because children don't have video cameras so they're not represented properly" but really they are anecdotally and via pictures drawn or things written by them. Just different forms of media.
But here so far are the primary symptoms based on the written blogs and video blogs seen.
~loss of sleep
~nightmares
~bloody noses or coughing/vomitting blood (the vomitting sets in apparently as more exposure occurs)
~lost time/time jumps
~As an addition to lost time, also forgetting things that happened to you
~paranoia
~getting "the journals", where you begin to draw pictures or write down words. This devolves in to babble as exposure progresses.
~seeking solitude, although that's not really a symptom so much as a desire not to pass the infection to loved ones.
~filming yourself constantly to keep track of what is going on
Now, because I've been at this a while and that tends to breed sarcasm as a form of keeping it interesting for myself, I came up with a secondary list of stuff mostly based on the video blogs.
~the wearing of Chuckies or converse sneakers
~the presence of The House of Leaves somewhere in the series
~the presence of people from other series in your series -aka "the crossover"
~shaky cam
~being photobombed by Slenderman
~having a wooden artist's model in the background somewhere
~posting cryptic messages to twitter
~being forum jacked/twitter jacked/youtube jacked
~a push to return to normal followed by Everything Getting So Much Worse
~Slendy up close in your house (this is bad)
~being harassed by proxies and aides who use l33t5p34k to talk
~following on that, puzzles and codes replacing what might otherwise be straightforward discourse.
~decline of photographic skills
~Overuse of the f-bomb and swearing in general to describe a situation/loss of ability to form sentences (looking at you, Tribe Twelve)
~the overwhelming urge to walk in to a forest by yourself near sunset when you KNOW THAT THING IS OUT THERE.
~Somebody named Alex or Jessica/Jess/Jessie. (Ahem... *whistles innocently*) There is always an Alex.
I have only actually seen Slenderman touch an individual in one vlog, and that was MLAnderson0. So perhaps I should do a secondary list of behaviors that the group has decided on for
I have amused myself enough. Time to go gather some more seriously boring data.
Approaching the Event Horizon of Impossible
If that's a thing. I kind of hope it's a thing. I'd like to know there is a point at which SOMETHING is impossible no matter how many computers you throw at it, but wow do I already digress.
So what did you guys do all weekend?? Because I spent mine trying to gather and categorize all of the back history for the Slenderman fandom/universe/whatever in a misguided and ultimately futile attempt to document things before it whirled away in to oblivion. I think I missed the time frame. In fact, I dropped the entire idea at 2am after my google searches were reduced to nothing but angry spam about newcomers to the mythos.
Now that Slender is a thing (and people will probably hate me, but I actually really liked the simplicity of the game, got a chance to play it the other night and it seems to cover the basics of the character/horror of his attention really well.) there is the usual showdown that happens between two groups... the initial ones who discovered and nurtured the slowly growing universe/fandom - and the "johnny come lately" group, or people that just found out about it and swarmed in.
We're seeing now what I like to call The Hipster Affect, or the "I knew about it first" phenomenon.
Not a legit term, but descriptive enough that you get the gist. The original people who knew about it before Slender now have massive geek and street cred.
So I guess that means I have geek cred, because I knew about it back in 2009, although I didn't find out about it until late December. And as I mentioned in one of my videos, I totally dismissed it as another flash in the pan or Creepy Pasta wannabe. OH HOW WRONG I WAS.
In the end this will actually turn out to be a good thing, because I can also now include not just the idea of Slenderman as a meme, but the entire dynamics of two groups coming together and fighting over what exactly that meme IS. It should provide godawfully amazing stuff. I feel like now I shouldn't just be standing up and giving my speech, I need to interview some of the creators and ask about their investment in Slenderman being a specific way and why that information is so important to maintain. That is, after all, the heart of mimetics-that a thought is purely replicated. Right now that purity is being challenged. Is the backlash because of a need to preserve the data as originally received? Is it just a matter of being resistant to changing the information in the face of people who don't understand the original gist? You KNOW that I am secretly hoping it is the data itself fighting to keep pure in the transmission. After all, we had a solid idea of who and what he was for a looooong time, and now all of that is being challenged.
This is the stuff I live for, believe it or not. Not internet flame wars, but watching the fast and heavy transmission of data and ideas back and forth between groups and seeing what behaviors, speech, even words may change in reaction to it. It's just awesome. (Probably boring for the rest of you, though.)
SO... now that that is all done allow me to share my current library. A user by the name of deadjosey
on Tumblr was sweet enough to compile a MASSIVE and extensive list of Slenderman resources. I'm just going to list them here so people know where I'm drawing from:
First the list of all of the Slenderman video blogs (known to date). (It's missing Ashesfallbro and Willow Adder, as a side-note)
Secondly the list of of all of the known Slenderman written blogs. I've read through a few, but this list is damned scary. Sampling is going to be a bitch, but we already knew this.
I do feel I should extract the one that is considered the forerunner of most slenderblogs, Seeking the Truth, and link that here, because this may become a resource in the future for people the way I'm using it to organize my thoughts now. I was also told that a lot of people reference The Tutorial (aka Get Up High) as a place to start with the Slenderman mythos, so I will link that as well.
Thirdly, the link explaining the in-depth origins of Slenderman. Rejoice, this just saved me from boring you with a 6-page summary on the slow dissection of the Something Awful forum thread. If you're truly curious, you can spend a late night bouncing through this and scaring yourself. It's pretty fun if you aren't busy.
I had originally mentioned going over the signs and symptoms, and I will do that. In fact I'll do that later today now that I can take a break from organizing my thoughts.
In other news.... well, nothing on the sociology front. Still no word from my academic liaison. I may actually drive down to campus and see what's up and why she's dodging me.
Proof that my email IS working in spite of this, got an email from Mr. Talbrie asking if I would stick around until the end of September, apparently he doesn't feel entirely "clear-headed" yet. Personally I think he just doesn't like his job and he's milking the time off, but whatever.
I was supposed to move over to student apartments next week but was told there was a mix up in paperwork that will delay that for a little bit. Gotta love synchronicity. I emailed him back to say that was fine. As long as the money keeps showing up in the account, what do I care?
My only complaint these days really besides the kids running around behind the house and the noises at night... this place is just freaking COLD. Like all the windows open, no AC, 80 degrees outside, and I have to wear a hoodie to keep from shivering.
No more break-ins, thankfully. That freaked me out when I finally saw it on the video. There was nobody downstairs by the time I went back, and that downstairs has been triple-checked for being locked now.
Now to go make some coffee and finalize the idea of what "data" is transmitted in all of these things. Or, in other words, I'ma make a long list of similarities between blogs. You were warned, it's gonna be boring.
Aaaand now I'm just doing the written version of thinking out loud. Gonna put this to an end. Caffeine is my friend and I am out!
So what did you guys do all weekend?? Because I spent mine trying to gather and categorize all of the back history for the Slenderman fandom/universe/whatever in a misguided and ultimately futile attempt to document things before it whirled away in to oblivion. I think I missed the time frame. In fact, I dropped the entire idea at 2am after my google searches were reduced to nothing but angry spam about newcomers to the mythos.
Now that Slender is a thing (and people will probably hate me, but I actually really liked the simplicity of the game, got a chance to play it the other night and it seems to cover the basics of the character/horror of his attention really well.) there is the usual showdown that happens between two groups... the initial ones who discovered and nurtured the slowly growing universe/fandom - and the "johnny come lately" group, or people that just found out about it and swarmed in.
We're seeing now what I like to call The Hipster Affect, or the "I knew about it first" phenomenon.
Not a legit term, but descriptive enough that you get the gist. The original people who knew about it before Slender now have massive geek and street cred.
So I guess that means I have geek cred, because I knew about it back in 2009, although I didn't find out about it until late December. And as I mentioned in one of my videos, I totally dismissed it as another flash in the pan or Creepy Pasta wannabe. OH HOW WRONG I WAS.
In the end this will actually turn out to be a good thing, because I can also now include not just the idea of Slenderman as a meme, but the entire dynamics of two groups coming together and fighting over what exactly that meme IS. It should provide godawfully amazing stuff. I feel like now I shouldn't just be standing up and giving my speech, I need to interview some of the creators and ask about their investment in Slenderman being a specific way and why that information is so important to maintain. That is, after all, the heart of mimetics-that a thought is purely replicated. Right now that purity is being challenged. Is the backlash because of a need to preserve the data as originally received? Is it just a matter of being resistant to changing the information in the face of people who don't understand the original gist? You KNOW that I am secretly hoping it is the data itself fighting to keep pure in the transmission. After all, we had a solid idea of who and what he was for a looooong time, and now all of that is being challenged.
This is the stuff I live for, believe it or not. Not internet flame wars, but watching the fast and heavy transmission of data and ideas back and forth between groups and seeing what behaviors, speech, even words may change in reaction to it. It's just awesome. (Probably boring for the rest of you, though.)
SO... now that that is all done allow me to share my current library. A user by the name of deadjosey
on Tumblr was sweet enough to compile a MASSIVE and extensive list of Slenderman resources. I'm just going to list them here so people know where I'm drawing from:
First the list of all of the Slenderman video blogs (known to date). (It's missing Ashesfallbro and Willow Adder, as a side-note)
Secondly the list of of all of the known Slenderman written blogs. I've read through a few, but this list is damned scary. Sampling is going to be a bitch, but we already knew this.
I do feel I should extract the one that is considered the forerunner of most slenderblogs, Seeking the Truth, and link that here, because this may become a resource in the future for people the way I'm using it to organize my thoughts now. I was also told that a lot of people reference The Tutorial (aka Get Up High) as a place to start with the Slenderman mythos, so I will link that as well.
Thirdly, the link explaining the in-depth origins of Slenderman. Rejoice, this just saved me from boring you with a 6-page summary on the slow dissection of the Something Awful forum thread. If you're truly curious, you can spend a late night bouncing through this and scaring yourself. It's pretty fun if you aren't busy.
I had originally mentioned going over the signs and symptoms, and I will do that. In fact I'll do that later today now that I can take a break from organizing my thoughts.
In other news.... well, nothing on the sociology front. Still no word from my academic liaison. I may actually drive down to campus and see what's up and why she's dodging me.
Proof that my email IS working in spite of this, got an email from Mr. Talbrie asking if I would stick around until the end of September, apparently he doesn't feel entirely "clear-headed" yet. Personally I think he just doesn't like his job and he's milking the time off, but whatever.
I was supposed to move over to student apartments next week but was told there was a mix up in paperwork that will delay that for a little bit. Gotta love synchronicity. I emailed him back to say that was fine. As long as the money keeps showing up in the account, what do I care?
My only complaint these days really besides the kids running around behind the house and the noises at night... this place is just freaking COLD. Like all the windows open, no AC, 80 degrees outside, and I have to wear a hoodie to keep from shivering.
No more break-ins, thankfully. That freaked me out when I finally saw it on the video. There was nobody downstairs by the time I went back, and that downstairs has been triple-checked for being locked now.
Now to go make some coffee and finalize the idea of what "data" is transmitted in all of these things. Or, in other words, I'ma make a long list of similarities between blogs. You were warned, it's gonna be boring.
Aaaand now I'm just doing the written version of thinking out loud. Gonna put this to an end. Caffeine is my friend and I am out!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Bad Timing
When I first decided to move my focus over to Slenderman as a sign and symptom of mimetic transmission in a society, it was with the idea that this was a small subset of people like otakus or ufo chaser, and that the growth would be somewhat predictable and exponential. I do a query on Youtube and Google every 3-5 days to check for anything new coming up in terms of blogs or videos to help keep track of this and pass it along to Ian, so he doesn't kill me for all of the info he's had to dig up for me.
(Ian if you read this, you are the fucking bomb. I mean it.)
Which is all well and good when you account for the uptick that comes when the 3 major blogs start their end-of-summer shenanigans again. You see other people refreshing their blogs or twitter or whatever, and new ones starting slowly in response. It's a documented effect in a population.
But what I had not counted on was the video game "Slender".
Behold Slender. It's actually a ridiculously simple but incredibly effective game:
(this guy takes the cake for lighthearted horror game playing.)
Because now the gamers have a hold of the germinating mythos, and my numbers and data exploded and omfg I do not even....
Don't get me wrong, I love gamers. I AM a gamer. I can't tell you how many hours of my life Minecraft has eaten alive and not called me back in the morning over. They are one of the cultural subgroups I'm actually proudest to identify with. It's just....
On one hand, this is AMAZING, because it means that I was right about the fact this would be a growing thing, and that this actually has a chance to become a fixed thing the way people joke about Bigfoot or the Mothman. It means that it goes beyond the small subset of people who started this, and who by now have drawn their friends in to it and they have drawn theirs in... I suspected we were not quite at the peak of the curve in attention to this, but we would be rapidly approaching it by the end of the year, with the true down-curve happening shortly after Marble Hornets finished their series. But now that it has entered the consciousness of a larger group, it's going to get even more exposure, and we are going to see this thing explode.
In fact, I noted the creation of 3 new Slendervlogs on YouTube in the last 2 weeks, and comments I found on related media from those creators cited Slender as the impetus for them to start up their own series.
Basically, Slender is the gateway drug by which you enter the Slenderverse now, and there is no escaping. Insert maniacal laugh.
Now... on the OTHER hand.... my data. My poor, poor, carefully crafted and extrapolated data with offshoots and cross correlations and.... it hurts my head just thinking about it beforehand. I am actually seriously debating if I should even attempt to go any further now that the mythos has exploded.
I did decide to make a definitely study of 2 vlogs I found while I was still doing my "memes in general" approach to things, one called ashesfallbro (click for linkage) and Willow Adder (same) that both seemed to be just starting up and did so prior to Slender being really introduced to the gaming community at large. I like them because A.) They are not on the east coast, or in the echo-boom of the central US. B.) Both are run by women and C.) I caught them on their second uploaded video so I can track the growth and integration of other data forms and numbers on them virtually from the start. It's data-mining gold. Also, I just love ashesfallbro because it started out when them wandering in to the forest hollering for Slenderman to prove he wasn't there. I've actually been waiting for backlash and someone to tell the story from the viewpoint of "he's not there and something else horrible happens instead", which is where they seem to be going. And as a friend of mine pointed out "they seem to be in 'response phase' right now," where an outsider/proxy is coming in to the story and posting response videos. I liked the terminology, so I'm keeping it. He won't mind.
Slight moment of amusement for myself... they were worried about a tulpa before when it was something of a hidden gem on the internet?? Slenderman's a full blown thing now. We can thank AgentParsec for nightmare stories around the campfire for the next generation. :)
But for now, I guess I need to be more stringent on what I'm using and how I'm tracking data because it may have literally just become impossible to do so on my own with the help of one tech guru. I'll have to ponder this over the next few days and see what my brain comes up with.
In other news, no word back yet from my academic liaison. Left her a voicemail yesterday, hoping she'll call me back soon.
(Ian if you read this, you are the fucking bomb. I mean it.)
Which is all well and good when you account for the uptick that comes when the 3 major blogs start their end-of-summer shenanigans again. You see other people refreshing their blogs or twitter or whatever, and new ones starting slowly in response. It's a documented effect in a population.
But what I had not counted on was the video game "Slender".
Behold Slender. It's actually a ridiculously simple but incredibly effective game:
(this guy takes the cake for lighthearted horror game playing.)
Because now the gamers have a hold of the germinating mythos, and my numbers and data exploded and omfg I do not even....
Don't get me wrong, I love gamers. I AM a gamer. I can't tell you how many hours of my life Minecraft has eaten alive and not called me back in the morning over. They are one of the cultural subgroups I'm actually proudest to identify with. It's just....
On one hand, this is AMAZING, because it means that I was right about the fact this would be a growing thing, and that this actually has a chance to become a fixed thing the way people joke about Bigfoot or the Mothman. It means that it goes beyond the small subset of people who started this, and who by now have drawn their friends in to it and they have drawn theirs in... I suspected we were not quite at the peak of the curve in attention to this, but we would be rapidly approaching it by the end of the year, with the true down-curve happening shortly after Marble Hornets finished their series. But now that it has entered the consciousness of a larger group, it's going to get even more exposure, and we are going to see this thing explode.
In fact, I noted the creation of 3 new Slendervlogs on YouTube in the last 2 weeks, and comments I found on related media from those creators cited Slender as the impetus for them to start up their own series.
Basically, Slender is the gateway drug by which you enter the Slenderverse now, and there is no escaping. Insert maniacal laugh.
Now... on the OTHER hand.... my data. My poor, poor, carefully crafted and extrapolated data with offshoots and cross correlations and.... it hurts my head just thinking about it beforehand. I am actually seriously debating if I should even attempt to go any further now that the mythos has exploded.
I did decide to make a definitely study of 2 vlogs I found while I was still doing my "memes in general" approach to things, one called ashesfallbro (click for linkage) and Willow Adder (same) that both seemed to be just starting up and did so prior to Slender being really introduced to the gaming community at large. I like them because A.) They are not on the east coast, or in the echo-boom of the central US. B.) Both are run by women and C.) I caught them on their second uploaded video so I can track the growth and integration of other data forms and numbers on them virtually from the start. It's data-mining gold. Also, I just love ashesfallbro because it started out when them wandering in to the forest hollering for Slenderman to prove he wasn't there. I've actually been waiting for backlash and someone to tell the story from the viewpoint of "he's not there and something else horrible happens instead", which is where they seem to be going. And as a friend of mine pointed out "they seem to be in 'response phase' right now," where an outsider/proxy is coming in to the story and posting response videos. I liked the terminology, so I'm keeping it. He won't mind.
Slight moment of amusement for myself... they were worried about a tulpa before when it was something of a hidden gem on the internet?? Slenderman's a full blown thing now. We can thank AgentParsec for nightmare stories around the campfire for the next generation. :)
But for now, I guess I need to be more stringent on what I'm using and how I'm tracking data because it may have literally just become impossible to do so on my own with the help of one tech guru. I'll have to ponder this over the next few days and see what my brain comes up with.
In other news, no word back yet from my academic liaison. Left her a voicemail yesterday, hoping she'll call me back soon.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Found this on Tumblr...
...and thought it was kind of amusing, so I'm sharing.
In other news, I more than passed my summer courses! HELLS YEAH! Got the course summaries via email today and the winning streak continues.
Still waiting on news from the academic liaison. It normally takes her a few days, so I'm not worried. If I don't hear by tomorrow I'll probably call her.
In other news, I more than passed my summer courses! HELLS YEAH! Got the course summaries via email today and the winning streak continues.
Still waiting on news from the academic liaison. It normally takes her a few days, so I'm not worried. If I don't hear by tomorrow I'll probably call her.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Fingers crossed!
Submitted my revised thesis summary late this morning, now I'm just waiting to hear back from my academic liaison on whether it's been accepted or not by the department! So excited! Please keep your fingers crossed for me!
Rough Analytics/Observations
Back to focusing on what's important, I have compiled the following (VERY ROUGH) observations.
Now, this is based on a general broad overview, and I haven't possibly seen every single Slenderman "vlog" yet, but this is what I've determined so far:
~The majority of the original video blogs were run by white males, middle class to upper middle class (as evidence by owning video cameras aside from cell phones, which are virtually ubiquitous everywhere these days, even among the lower class. The YouTube boom wouldn't have been possible without them) This is taken within the time frame of the first 6 months of the "phenomenon". There are females present in supporting roles, but they seem to disappear or die off.
~There is a slightly higher percentage of females in the written Slenderman blogs; and it is interesting to note that a lot of the original blogs seem to not have been active for the better part of a year and some change. Also, as noted in the "vlogs" (I will never get used to that word!), a LOT of the female characters have disappeared and are assumed dead. In fact, the only non-dead female blogger I can think of off the top of my head is Stephanie of Everyman Hybrid.
~There is a very high quotient of sharing and "crossover" among the blogs. This is interesting because a feature of Slenderman is to "infect" those that you are around so they become "haunted" as well. It does, by it's very nature, isolate you. I am unsure if it is simply a sense of community that causes them to share with one another between blogs like this, or if it is a conscious understanding that a character in that situation would need community. It would be far cooler if it were just a subconscious understanding and not the drive to be the social creatures we are, but I think it's a basic enough idea that when you're in trouble, you look for allies. Nothing subconscious about that. If you are infected, you go find other infected. Boom. Done. Loved ones stay safe.
~The initial Big Three as they are called originated in the eastern United States. Everyman Hybrid is in New Jersey, Tribe Twelve is in Florida somewhere, and Marble Hornets, godfather of the entire movement, is in the southeast somewhere. After that a few more appeared in the east as well. A secondary wave cropped up after that headed toward the Midwestern states of Indiana and Illinois, and there was an echo-boom of sorts in the UK. I cannot find an active UK blog at this time, but it's most likely just a matter of time before another crops up.
There is now an echo-echo-boom of vlogs popping up around New England, and I believe I saw one that is now defunct out of Oregon. West coast mostly fails to represent so far, however.
CompileTRUTH has been my greatest asset right now, in that he went so far as to summarize the blogs and "vlogs" in concise videos. I spent Thursday night living on his YouTube channel, linked here for proper citation and also props in general because he's really helped me out: CompileTRUTH on YouTube
Poor guy appears to be headed for some trouble currently, which is interesting. Rarely do you see these guys intentionally putting themselves in the role of bad guy.
Pardon everything in quotes, I'm still sussing out the terminology and keeping it separate in my head for now.
Also, please be aware that this is in no way a true cross-section from which citations can be made or data or meta-data can be drawn. I'm just pointing out stuff that was most obvious.
If you have any thoughts, leads, or information, all is welcome! Especially if I'm missing a really great slendervlog that discounts all of these observations.
Next up I'm going to do a rough compilation of "Slenderbehaviors" to quantify what has become agreed upon as signs, symptoms, etc. of this entire thing. I'm digging the hell out of this!
Thanks for reading!
Now, this is based on a general broad overview, and I haven't possibly seen every single Slenderman "vlog" yet, but this is what I've determined so far:
~The majority of the original video blogs were run by white males, middle class to upper middle class (as evidence by owning video cameras aside from cell phones, which are virtually ubiquitous everywhere these days, even among the lower class. The YouTube boom wouldn't have been possible without them) This is taken within the time frame of the first 6 months of the "phenomenon". There are females present in supporting roles, but they seem to disappear or die off.
~There is a slightly higher percentage of females in the written Slenderman blogs; and it is interesting to note that a lot of the original blogs seem to not have been active for the better part of a year and some change. Also, as noted in the "vlogs" (I will never get used to that word!), a LOT of the female characters have disappeared and are assumed dead. In fact, the only non-dead female blogger I can think of off the top of my head is Stephanie of Everyman Hybrid.
~There is a very high quotient of sharing and "crossover" among the blogs. This is interesting because a feature of Slenderman is to "infect" those that you are around so they become "haunted" as well. It does, by it's very nature, isolate you. I am unsure if it is simply a sense of community that causes them to share with one another between blogs like this, or if it is a conscious understanding that a character in that situation would need community. It would be far cooler if it were just a subconscious understanding and not the drive to be the social creatures we are, but I think it's a basic enough idea that when you're in trouble, you look for allies. Nothing subconscious about that. If you are infected, you go find other infected. Boom. Done. Loved ones stay safe.
~The initial Big Three as they are called originated in the eastern United States. Everyman Hybrid is in New Jersey, Tribe Twelve is in Florida somewhere, and Marble Hornets, godfather of the entire movement, is in the southeast somewhere. After that a few more appeared in the east as well. A secondary wave cropped up after that headed toward the Midwestern states of Indiana and Illinois, and there was an echo-boom of sorts in the UK. I cannot find an active UK blog at this time, but it's most likely just a matter of time before another crops up.
There is now an echo-echo-boom of vlogs popping up around New England, and I believe I saw one that is now defunct out of Oregon. West coast mostly fails to represent so far, however.
CompileTRUTH has been my greatest asset right now, in that he went so far as to summarize the blogs and "vlogs" in concise videos. I spent Thursday night living on his YouTube channel, linked here for proper citation and also props in general because he's really helped me out: CompileTRUTH on YouTube
Poor guy appears to be headed for some trouble currently, which is interesting. Rarely do you see these guys intentionally putting themselves in the role of bad guy.
Pardon everything in quotes, I'm still sussing out the terminology and keeping it separate in my head for now.
Also, please be aware that this is in no way a true cross-section from which citations can be made or data or meta-data can be drawn. I'm just pointing out stuff that was most obvious.
If you have any thoughts, leads, or information, all is welcome! Especially if I'm missing a really great slendervlog that discounts all of these observations.
Next up I'm going to do a rough compilation of "Slenderbehaviors" to quantify what has become agreed upon as signs, symptoms, etc. of this entire thing. I'm digging the hell out of this!
Thanks for reading!
Friday, August 17, 2012
Distracting Stuff
So this is supposed to be for all of the work I'm doing on this thesis and what I'm thinking about, but there's already been a distraction and I guess since it's been going through my head technically I've been thinking about it, and because it's disrupting my info gathering technically it's a part of the paper. Whatever. I'm going to talk about it. Because it's bugging me.
Mr. Talbrie hired me back in mid-June to watch this place while he, his wife and his kid went for an extended vacation to the beach. I found out about the "job" from a posting on Craigslist asking for a housesitter and I thought it would be the perfect way to make money while still getting a jump start on my thesis and dealing with summer courses. We did most of our correspondence via e-mail. I only talked to him once on the phone, and the only time I saw him he was standing out front waiting to hand off the housekey. I remember thinking he did not look at all excited for someone about to spend all summer at the shore, but figured maybe he was anxious because his family was waiting for him elsewhere and he wanted to get started on the drive. At least, that's what my brain decided when he handed it over to me, advised he would check in once in a while, and then jumped in his car and drove off by himself.
He's been emailing me to ask if everything is okay with the house and if I'm okay. He even checked once to see if the automatic deposits he set up were making it in to my account. But for the most part he's been incredibly hands-off.
He called me a few days ago saying he was checking up on things, but the whole phone call was just weird. Nothing in particular. When I asked how everybody was liking the beach, he said his wife and kids were enjoying the sand, and something about watching them play.
Then I heard a truck go by. Thought for a second maybe he went to a payphone up near the road to make the call, but in checking the number it's the cell phone number he gave me.
I guess it's not a big deal, what the hell did hearing a truck matter?
But then things got a little weird. Somehow we got around to housecleaning, and I told him it was getting very dusty, so I'd run around to every room and dusted, and I'd picked a bunch of stuff up to try and organize.
Let me see if I can transcribe what he said here...
T:"Did you go in the blue room?"
Me:"Yeah but only very briefly, just long enough to get the dust off of things, then I was right back out."
Then there's probably 5 seconds of dead silence.
T:"I asked you not to go in there. I specifically asked you not to go in there."
Me:"I'm really sorry, it's just the house is so dry, and I've been getting nosebleeds so I thought I would clean up really fast. I only dusted, I didn't touch anything else in there."
Then there's another 5 seconds of silence. And he sounds really tense after that.
T:"Please don't go in there again."
Me:"I won't. I promise. I'm sorry."
T:"And you picked up? Cleaned up and organized the things laying around?"
At this point I figured he's really angry, so I'm trying to downplay it.
Me:"Just small things, like putting books away, and picking things up off the floor. I put them on shelves nearby, so you'll be able to find them. I put the clock on the booksh..."
T:"Don't touch the clock. Don't...worry about the clock. Just leave it."
Me:"I'm really sorry Mr. Talbrie, I'm just trying to take care of this place since you're paying me to make sure it's okay."
T:"You decided to engage the environment."
Now..... the rest of this might be hazy in my memory, but I remember the way he worded that crystal clear. You decided to engage the environment. Because who says stuff like that??
Me:"Yeah, I guess I did."
Then I heard a very long, very drawn out sign on the other end. I'm wondering how OCD Mr. Talbrie really is and if I've caused him to go back on medication because I vacuumed.
T:"You don't need to do that. In fact, don't do that anymore. Leave everything as it is, it'll be for the best that way."
And I just agree at that point because I think I'm giving him a silent meltdown on the other side end of the phone. You're going to pay me to NOT clean your house? Sure, I can do that. No problem.
Then to try and get the call back in to positive territory, I ask him how he's enjoying everything. He tells me he's feeling more clearheaded than he has in a long time. And I made some smalltalk about how that was good for his mental health, and he actually chuckled at that so I think we were all good by the time we hung up.
But for some reason the call was sticking with me, and I realized what it was. He said wife and KIDS. Plural.
There is only one child's room. It is almost bare, and unless they've got both kids sleeping on that one narrow bed, that makes no sense. It's also the cleanest room I've ever seen for having 2 kids in it.
The other thing? I remembered when he met me in hindsight that he never specifically said anything about his family as well. He mentioned he had a toddler. No mention of a second child. And he only said his wife's name once. Helen. He has never referred to her again until today.
Maybe I'm reading in to this too much. Maybe he was distracted and it was a slip of the tongue. Maybe he's just a REALLY private, REALLY OCD guy.
I've spent too much time thinking about this already, so maybe I can let go of it and get back to work. I'm out of here in 2 more weeks so it doesn't really matter anyway.
Mr. Talbrie hired me back in mid-June to watch this place while he, his wife and his kid went for an extended vacation to the beach. I found out about the "job" from a posting on Craigslist asking for a housesitter and I thought it would be the perfect way to make money while still getting a jump start on my thesis and dealing with summer courses. We did most of our correspondence via e-mail. I only talked to him once on the phone, and the only time I saw him he was standing out front waiting to hand off the housekey. I remember thinking he did not look at all excited for someone about to spend all summer at the shore, but figured maybe he was anxious because his family was waiting for him elsewhere and he wanted to get started on the drive. At least, that's what my brain decided when he handed it over to me, advised he would check in once in a while, and then jumped in his car and drove off by himself.
He's been emailing me to ask if everything is okay with the house and if I'm okay. He even checked once to see if the automatic deposits he set up were making it in to my account. But for the most part he's been incredibly hands-off.
He called me a few days ago saying he was checking up on things, but the whole phone call was just weird. Nothing in particular. When I asked how everybody was liking the beach, he said his wife and kids were enjoying the sand, and something about watching them play.
Then I heard a truck go by. Thought for a second maybe he went to a payphone up near the road to make the call, but in checking the number it's the cell phone number he gave me.
I guess it's not a big deal, what the hell did hearing a truck matter?
But then things got a little weird. Somehow we got around to housecleaning, and I told him it was getting very dusty, so I'd run around to every room and dusted, and I'd picked a bunch of stuff up to try and organize.
Let me see if I can transcribe what he said here...
T:"Did you go in the blue room?"
Me:"Yeah but only very briefly, just long enough to get the dust off of things, then I was right back out."
Then there's probably 5 seconds of dead silence.
T:"I asked you not to go in there. I specifically asked you not to go in there."
Me:"I'm really sorry, it's just the house is so dry, and I've been getting nosebleeds so I thought I would clean up really fast. I only dusted, I didn't touch anything else in there."
Then there's another 5 seconds of silence. And he sounds really tense after that.
T:"Please don't go in there again."
Me:"I won't. I promise. I'm sorry."
T:"And you picked up? Cleaned up and organized the things laying around?"
At this point I figured he's really angry, so I'm trying to downplay it.
Me:"Just small things, like putting books away, and picking things up off the floor. I put them on shelves nearby, so you'll be able to find them. I put the clock on the booksh..."
T:"Don't touch the clock. Don't...worry about the clock. Just leave it."
Me:"I'm really sorry Mr. Talbrie, I'm just trying to take care of this place since you're paying me to make sure it's okay."
T:"You decided to engage the environment."
Now..... the rest of this might be hazy in my memory, but I remember the way he worded that crystal clear. You decided to engage the environment. Because who says stuff like that??
Me:"Yeah, I guess I did."
Then I heard a very long, very drawn out sign on the other end. I'm wondering how OCD Mr. Talbrie really is and if I've caused him to go back on medication because I vacuumed.
T:"You don't need to do that. In fact, don't do that anymore. Leave everything as it is, it'll be for the best that way."
And I just agree at that point because I think I'm giving him a silent meltdown on the other side end of the phone. You're going to pay me to NOT clean your house? Sure, I can do that. No problem.
Then to try and get the call back in to positive territory, I ask him how he's enjoying everything. He tells me he's feeling more clearheaded than he has in a long time. And I made some smalltalk about how that was good for his mental health, and he actually chuckled at that so I think we were all good by the time we hung up.
But for some reason the call was sticking with me, and I realized what it was. He said wife and KIDS. Plural.
There is only one child's room. It is almost bare, and unless they've got both kids sleeping on that one narrow bed, that makes no sense. It's also the cleanest room I've ever seen for having 2 kids in it.
The other thing? I remembered when he met me in hindsight that he never specifically said anything about his family as well. He mentioned he had a toddler. No mention of a second child. And he only said his wife's name once. Helen. He has never referred to her again until today.
Maybe I'm reading in to this too much. Maybe he was distracted and it was a slip of the tongue. Maybe he's just a REALLY private, REALLY OCD guy.
I've spent too much time thinking about this already, so maybe I can let go of it and get back to work. I'm out of here in 2 more weeks so it doesn't really matter anyway.
This Whole Meme Thing
I couldn't leave the last entry standing up there like that all alone! I know nobody's seen it because the internet is a vast and mysterious place and this blog is parked in the janitor's closet of it all.
So, yeah... memes. Or Mimemes, as it's actually technically called (which spell check is trying to advise me I have horribly destroyed the word "mimes" to type there). It is the idea that a thought is a thing. Or rather, even less anthropomorphically, that information strives to replicate itself using the minds and behaviors of living creatures. In this case, it also embraces the radical theory that ideas and information are the same as DNA, passed along from one living organism to another; the only difference is that it is transmitted via sound and sight and occasionally touch and smell instead of through the union of zygotes and all the fun and angst that surrounds that particular action.
When I initially stumbled on to the U Penn campus a few years back, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. Honestly I figured I would go in to communications because I liked people and I liked picking apart how people learned and picked up information from ads, books, the news, whatever. I figured it would serve me really well in whatever job I managed to get in the dying realm of radio or broadcast television.
Then fate intervened, and during a mandatory elective class I had to choose, on a whim I chose sociology. At one point during the class they talked about the transmission of ideas over social media (which was really only then starting to show up en-force.... weird, right? There was a time before Twitter!) and how it was going to affect us socially and culturally. And then they did the awesomest thing ever. They played Susan Blackmore's TED Talk on Memes and "Temes".
I'm going to link it here because it's short and it's AWESOME.
In 21 minutes my world was changed. I knew that this thing I had for studying how people passed knowledge from one person to another and seeing how we behaved with one another, what we picked up off one another, was my calling. I had to do the Meme Thing.
Then came the fun of going through all of the classes to learn about how culture shifts and responds based on given stimuli and how it can change based on economic level, education level, religion, region, gender... and I fell further in love with all of it.
To this day, if you stand in front of me in line, I will watch you for non-verbal clues about you, from how you dress, to how you stand, to how you observe those around you and how you speak, and I can tell pretty much where you came from immediately.
Sounds creepy, right? Guess what? We ALL do this. It's sometimes oversimplified as "stereotyping", but we all guage one another like this ALL the time. How awesome is that? Our brains are built to be mini sociologists, to figure out how to interact with one another. It is THAT important.
I guess you could say I am studying the science of the brain studying interactions. Or just interactions between human beings. Or really, I just watch people talk, if you want to get stupidly simple.
I could go on at great length about this, but please understand this above all else... I AM A SUSAN BLACKMORE FANGRRL. I care not for your fancy arguments against the idea of meme as thing! Which I guess is obvious, since I'm throwing many thousands of dollars at this whole goal of professionally studying them, huh?
If anybody is still reading and has any comments, thoughts, or wants to do some (polite) arguing/trading of viewpoints on ideas, I am absolutely open to it in the comments. And thanks for listening.
So, yeah... memes. Or Mimemes, as it's actually technically called (which spell check is trying to advise me I have horribly destroyed the word "mimes" to type there). It is the idea that a thought is a thing. Or rather, even less anthropomorphically, that information strives to replicate itself using the minds and behaviors of living creatures. In this case, it also embraces the radical theory that ideas and information are the same as DNA, passed along from one living organism to another; the only difference is that it is transmitted via sound and sight and occasionally touch and smell instead of through the union of zygotes and all the fun and angst that surrounds that particular action.
When I initially stumbled on to the U Penn campus a few years back, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. Honestly I figured I would go in to communications because I liked people and I liked picking apart how people learned and picked up information from ads, books, the news, whatever. I figured it would serve me really well in whatever job I managed to get in the dying realm of radio or broadcast television.
Then fate intervened, and during a mandatory elective class I had to choose, on a whim I chose sociology. At one point during the class they talked about the transmission of ideas over social media (which was really only then starting to show up en-force.... weird, right? There was a time before Twitter!) and how it was going to affect us socially and culturally. And then they did the awesomest thing ever. They played Susan Blackmore's TED Talk on Memes and "Temes".
I'm going to link it here because it's short and it's AWESOME.
In 21 minutes my world was changed. I knew that this thing I had for studying how people passed knowledge from one person to another and seeing how we behaved with one another, what we picked up off one another, was my calling. I had to do the Meme Thing.
Then came the fun of going through all of the classes to learn about how culture shifts and responds based on given stimuli and how it can change based on economic level, education level, religion, region, gender... and I fell further in love with all of it.
To this day, if you stand in front of me in line, I will watch you for non-verbal clues about you, from how you dress, to how you stand, to how you observe those around you and how you speak, and I can tell pretty much where you came from immediately.
Sounds creepy, right? Guess what? We ALL do this. It's sometimes oversimplified as "stereotyping", but we all guage one another like this ALL the time. How awesome is that? Our brains are built to be mini sociologists, to figure out how to interact with one another. It is THAT important.
I guess you could say I am studying the science of the brain studying interactions. Or just interactions between human beings. Or really, I just watch people talk, if you want to get stupidly simple.
I could go on at great length about this, but please understand this above all else... I AM A SUSAN BLACKMORE FANGRRL. I care not for your fancy arguments against the idea of meme as thing! Which I guess is obvious, since I'm throwing many thousands of dollars at this whole goal of professionally studying them, huh?
If anybody is still reading and has any comments, thoughts, or wants to do some (polite) arguing/trading of viewpoints on ideas, I am absolutely open to it in the comments. And thanks for listening.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Greetings, Citizens!
I'm just going to randomly test this out with a few sentences, don't mind me....
After seeing the complete goofiness that was 10 minutes of me explaining to the internet WHY I wanted to study the Slenderman mythos, I realized... nobody wants to watch me talk for 10 minutes about the Slenderman mythos. So I'm going to move the talk-y bits explaining my thought process and the research I've found over here. It's going to be really, really exciting, but probably only to me.
I guess that means the youtube channel is probably done-for, until I start officially fleshing out my presentation and recording it to see if it flows well. Maybe I'll use it for fun stuff later on, like the beach at the end of August (I can't wait to go, you guys!)
Anyway... testing, testing, one, two, three....... and off we go with all of this!
After seeing the complete goofiness that was 10 minutes of me explaining to the internet WHY I wanted to study the Slenderman mythos, I realized... nobody wants to watch me talk for 10 minutes about the Slenderman mythos. So I'm going to move the talk-y bits explaining my thought process and the research I've found over here. It's going to be really, really exciting, but probably only to me.
I guess that means the youtube channel is probably done-for, until I start officially fleshing out my presentation and recording it to see if it flows well. Maybe I'll use it for fun stuff later on, like the beach at the end of August (I can't wait to go, you guys!)
Anyway... testing, testing, one, two, three....... and off we go with all of this!
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