Fuck, Argh and WTFM8.

Okay, I am finally in a position where I'm calm enough (mostly) to write about my less than fantastic week.

I drove to campus Tuesday to track down my academic liaison and ask her what the deal was. I found her, and she started in on ME for not keeping in touch. When I told her I'd sent her something like 6 emails and she had never gotten back to me, she told me she hadn't received any of them.
Awesome.
Even better, it turns out that she actually sent me a response last Friday, and the response from the department was NOPE.
I still have yet to see that email with the whole explanation, btw.
Except it wasn't NOPE, what it actually was, better worded, is this; that mimetics are a questionable field to begin with and that they had allowed me to pursue this subset of the field because it initially looked as though I might actually be able to eek some sort of clinical data out of the memes I was going over broadly. As an overview of a LOT of society, it was great and they liked it. They were hesitant, but gave me a go.
When I decided to focus on the rise and fall of Slenderman, though, they thought it was too narrow a subset to draw from and withdrew all support, including grants.
When my liaison told me that, I made the argument that it had segued in to a larger population now because of that whole video game thing. She nodded and told me she'd read that and argued that on my behalf, and that is why I am now on academic probation and not kicked out of the program.
Subsequently, I discovered my name was not on the student list for the department anymore when I went to look something up later. They're effectively wiping me off the map.
So on one hand, I have mounds of data and I've been spending late nights cobbling together a theory for all of this and it is NOT going to waste. They will hear out my paper because metadata can be pulled from it on trends in data transmission via all the various social media sources and a few other things that don't necessarily strictly pertain to mimetics. But in the meantime, I'm going to be doing so without any funding at all from grants, which was part of how I was going to focus on this to get it knocked out by spring. I've got nothing for housing, food or gas at this point.
Thank god Mr. Talbrie asked me to extend my stay here. I can't even afford student housing on campus at this point and I'm going to have to bow out and try to find some small apartment to share somewhere. I've done it before, but I'm worried about loud roommates and distractions.
Not too surprisingly, in light of all of this, I had my first Slenderman nightmare last night. Honestly it's shocking I didn't have one before but I guess it took the stress to really push things over the edge. I wasn't in the woods, oddly. I was in someplace dark and echo-y. I knew he was there and he was close by. I kept running, but the dark didn't end. I never came to any walls or doorways. And he was always right there behind me, about to touch me.
In light of that I took a 2 day break and decided to unwind. I sat around in my PJs, dyed my hair bright pink (didn't turn out so well but I'm here by myself so there's no one to witness my failure)
and dug out some old videogames down in the basement to play for a bit.
Who still plays PS2 games on the original brick, btw? That's what was down there. Maybe they're nostalgia fans or something
At this point I'm determined to just go ahead and do the paper, and make the data fucking waterTIGHT so they have no excuse but to acknowledge I was taking this shit seriously.
And now I'm getting worked up again. So I should probably go do other things.
Like start looking for a paid internship or a job, since I'm going to need it.
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fuck